Guidance

Separation and divorce guide for military personnel spouses and partners

Published 23 March 2023

© Crown copyright 2023

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This publication is available at https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/separation-and-divorce-guide-for-military-personnel-spouses-and-partners/separation-and-divorce-guide-for-military-personnel-spouses-and-partners

Foreword

Ending a marriage or long-term relationship is usually stressful and emotional and there are often added complexities to consider if part of the Armed Forces family. The department is committed to ensuring that spouses, partners and families of Military Personnel have access to the support they need throughout this journey.  There is a vast amount of information already available, but this can also be overwhelming and hard to find when it’s not all in one place. This comprehensive guide should help to alleviate some of that pressure and uncertainty.

When a relationship within the Armed Forces family breaks down there are likely to be additional issues to consider that civilian couples and families don’t have to face, such as eligibility to allowances, and entitlement to Service Family Accommodation (SFA). The information contained in this guide seeks to address some of those nuances.

This guide is not a replacement to the wide range of organisations that are on hand to assist, but an online resource containing guidance, information and links to the various organisations and support networks available to you. Whether you are a spouse or partner who is separating from a member of the Armed Forces, or an individual supporting someone who is, these resources have proven helpful to others who have been through similar experiences and I hope that you will find them useful too.

Helen Helliwell, Director of Armed Forces People Policy
March 2023

1. When the relationship has ended

If you have already decided to separate, divorce, or dissolve a partnership or have been told your relationship is over, there are a number of people and organisations that can support you.

Contact your local HIVE or Royal Navy Family and People Support (RNFPS) Teams for information and points of contact for Welfare support. See below or Section 10 for other support organisations.

Each Service may have a different approach to providing welfare support but they should all provide information and support to families transitioning from military to civilian life, including information on vacating the Service Family Accommodation and removals. If you and your spouse/partner are privately renting a property, speak to your letting agent or landlord about your tenancy agreement to discuss options.

Things to consider during a divorce or separation

1. You are not alone and there are lots of organisations that can help you through your entire journey of separating.
2. Get as much information as you can but don’t try to solve everything on day one.
3. Start by getting some initial advice from your Welfare point of contact, Chaplain, SSAFA, Relate, a specialist solicitor, the Citizen’s Advice or a Service organisation that would offer general support (see section 10 for more information).
4. Initial advice from a solicitor is often free (but always check) and will not commit you to anything. At some locations, HIVE facilitate clinics with Citizens Advice/Local Solicitors – please speak to your local HIVE or Royal Navy Family and People Support (RN FPS) Team for more information.
5. If you have been a victim of domestic violence and/or abuse, seek advice from your Welfare point of contact, Chaplain or Padre for advice as soon as possible about your rights and to get appropriate support.
6. Be prepared for change and look after your physical and mental health.

It’s important that you get support throughout your separation to minimise the impact this has on you, your partner or spouse and your children, if you have them. Even if children aren’t involved, a break-up can impact all areas of your life.

1.1 General Support

You will also find some useful information on what to do next here: Family – Citizens Advice.

This Citizens Advice guide includes advice on how to separate, arrange your finances and make arrangements about your children if you have them. However, if you are unable to agree, the Family Mediation Council offer access to a local mediator who can help to sort out formal arrangements with finances and child access (if required) without going to court. You can enter your postcode online and find a registered family mediator near you.

Everyone’s situation is different and what is right for someone else may not be right for you. Where you live in the United Kingdom may also mean a different policy, or where you are housed will determine what law applies. The laws of England and Wales are different to the laws of Scotland and Northern Ireland.

Other agencies also offer support and advice, such as:

1.2 Support to those experiencing domestic abuse or domestic violence

If you are ever concerned about your immediate safety, or that of a family member, contact the police for assistance.

Domestic abuse covers a range of behaviours that could encompass emotional, psychological, physical, sexual, financial, economic abuse and coercive and controlling behaviour. Many of these behaviours are also criminal offences. When separating from an abusive partner it is not uncommon for abusive behaviour to increase or escalate and to continue after separation/divorce.

It is therefore important to know that confidential welfare support and signposting is available from specialists:

  • Royal Navy Family and People Support Freephone 0800 145 6088(Civ) +44 (0)23 92728777 or www.royalnavy.mod.uk/community-and-support
  • Army Welfare Service (AWS) (Civ) Telephone +44 (0) 1904 882053. Out of hours the AWS can be contacted through the Unit Welfare Officer and/or the Staff Duty Officer.
  • RAF Personal Support and Social Work Service (PS&SWS) Telephone 03000 111 723 (available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year)

There are other agencies and organisations external to Defence such as Refuge or Women’s Aid on 0808 2000 247 or the Men’s Advice Line on 0808 801 0327.

Guidance and support on Domestic Abuse aimed specifically at the Armed Forces Community

The National Health Service (NHS) Sexual Assault Referral Centres (SARCS) provide a safe space and dedicated care for anyone who has been raped, sexually assaulted or abused.  Information can be found here: NHS SARCS

Aurora New Dawn can give safety, support, advocacy and empowerment to survivors of domestic abuse, sexual violence and stalking. This organisation can be accessed from anywhere in the UK or overseas by calling +44 23 9247 9254 or emailing: info@aurorand.org.uk. They have experience of working with the Armed Forces Community. However, there will also be other local services that you might choose to access.

If you are fleeing domestic abuse, your local authority should provide assistance, access to refuges, other forms of safe temporary accommodation and give appropriate priority when you apply for access to social housing. You can ask any local authority for homelessness help if you’re at risk in your home or can’t stay there because of domestic abuse. The local authority must look at what they can do to either keep you safe in your home or find you somewhere safe to live.

SSAFA’s Stepping Stone also provides comfortable, secure, and female-only sheltered accommodation for up to 18 months whilst alternative arrangements are made whilst providing advice and guidance.

2. Living in Service Family Accommodation (SFA)

If you live in SFA and are considering separating, it is usual in these circumstances for the Serving person (SP) to move into alternative Service accommodation or private accommodation. This is called a ‘cooling off period’ and can last up to 93 days where you might try to resolve issues.  Once this period has ended or as soon as it is clear there is no option of reconciliation, the Service Person must decide either to return to the SFA property or change their Personal Status Category (PStat Cat) from “married” or “Long Term Relationship” (LTR) to “separated” or “single”.

If the SP moves into Single Living Accommodation (SLA) for this ‘cooling off period’, they continue to pay the charges on the SFA, but do not pay the charges on their SLA.

Once the PStat Cat has been changed, it is the responsibility of both the Local Service Commander (LSC) and the Service Person to advise the Defence Infrastructure Organisation (DIO) Loss of Entitlements Team (LOET) or by emailing the team at: diordaccn-loeteam@mod.gov.uk.

The LOET will issue a 93 day Notice to Vacate to the spouse or partner who remains in the SFA.  The Serving Person remains responsible for paying the charges during this 93-day period. This notice allows the remaining spouse, partner and family members time to make alternative living arrangements.

If you do not feel you can leave the SFA by the notice to vacate expiry date and wish to apply to stay in the property for an extended period (called a stay of legal action) for educational, medical, additional needs or disabilities or special educational needs, reasons, this can be done by completing and returning the Proportionality Exercise Assessment Form to the Loss of Entitlement Team with any supporting documentation.  This form will be included in the notice to vacate pack.

If you don’t complete the Proportionality Exercise Assessment Form in the initial notice to vacate pack, you will receive another form during the 93 day notice to vacate period. Alternatively, you can contact the Loss of Entitlement Team to provide your reasons and supporting documentation by contacting them using the email or link above.

If, on expiry of the notice to vacate period, you haven’t completed a Proportionality Exercise Assessment Form but you remain in the SFA without approval to do so, you will become what is called, an Irregular Occupant and are liable to pay Damage for Trespass (Violent Profits in Scotland) rates for the property. DIO may then commence the legal process to gain possession of the SFA and any court costs associated with this would be awarded against you.

When moving from the SFA, your Welfare point of contact, HR or Unit Personnel Office can advise you on your entitlement to removals through Agility (the company we use to move family possessions). If you are dissolving a long-term relationship and currently live in surplus SFA, you will not be entitled to removals.

The financial help you might be eligible for depends on your current circumstances. The benefits calculators on GOV.UK is a good starting point and will give you an indication of what you can claim based on your circumstances and give more information on how to claim.

You may be eligible to apply for Universal Credit to help towards living costs If you need help to pay bills or other costs while awaiting a claim for Universal Credit you may be able to get an advance. Information about Universal Credit advances.

If you believe that you will lose entitlement to SFA in the future, advice is available from a variety of sources. The Defence Transition Services (DTS) team are the MOD’s tri-service focal point to provide Service Personnel and their dependants with civilian housing information: Defence Transition Services. Details on their housing briefs and contact information is also available.

2.1 Separation and divorce while overseas and NI

If your family is returning to the UK from overseas/NI as a result of the relationship ending, the Service Person should apply for an SFA nearest to their spouse/partner’s preferred area of choice.

Pinnacle Home Services will then notify the Loss of Entitlement Team of the move-in date once arranged. The LOET will wait for the move-in to be confirmed and will then issue a Notice to Vacate (NTV) to both parties for a 93-day notice period. Please see above for next steps.

For awareness, the allocation of SFA to an estranged spouse/civil partner after change in PStat Category may be seen by Local Housing Authorities (LHA) as re-housing and may prejudice LHA housing allocations. For this reason, it may be beneficial to change the PStat Category after you return to the UK and are allocated SFA.

The Services Cotswold Centre is a tri-service facility managed by Headquarters Army Welfare Service (AWS) and funded by Headquarters Regional Command (HQ RC) on behalf of the MOD. It provides short-term transit accommodation for Service Personnel but also entitled family members who can also support families returning from overseas and NI due to separation and/or divorce. Contact them directly on Telephone: 01225 810 358 or email: rc-aws-scc-bookings@mod.gov.uk.

2.2 Separation and divorce overseas, NI and UK

The LOET carry out a Proportionality Exercise Assessment to ascertain the future plans of the spouse or partner and will consider educational needs, welfare, and medical issues, after which, the DIO LOET will inform the occupant of the outcome of this review.

On expiry of the notice to vacate, if you remain in the SFA you will become an Irregular Occupant and are liable to pay Damage for Trespass (Violent Profits in Scotland) rates. DIO may then commence the legal process to gain possession of the SFA and any court costs associated with this would be awarded against you.

When moving from the SFA, your Welfare point of contact, HR or Unit Personnel Office can advise you on your entitlement to removals through Agility (the company we use to move family possessions). If you are dissolving a long-term relationship and currently live in surplus SFA, you will not be entitled to removals.  However, you will still receive the 93 days Notice to Vacate.

3. Alternative accommodation options

If you must find alternative accommodation and cannot afford to buy or rent your own home, you may need to contact your Local Authority to assist you in finding somewhere to live. There is further information on housing association homes on GOV.UK. In addition, your local authority will be able to give you guidance on whether you are eligible for financial help towards your accommodation (such as Housing Benefit or Universal Credit).

There are different housing options, such as private rental, housing association housing and social housing. Social housing is not easily accessible in many areas, and it is important to consider all possible options and locations. Local Authorities do have a duty of care to house homeless people, but it may be in a B&B or hostel rather than a permanent house. In order to apply for social housing, you should consider taking the following actions:

  • talk to your current Local Authority and register as homeless (most Local Authorities have an Armed Forces Covenant Champion)
  • provide your Notice to Vacate or Certificate of Cessation to occupy SFA as proof of homelessness
  • talk to the Local Authority you want to move to – they may allow direct applications
  • talk to your Local Authority’s homeless department and ask a Housing Officer to outline other housing options
  • talk to Citizens Advice to ensure you know what housing and other benefits you’re entitled to
  • contact the Defence Transition Service (DTS) to ask for support under the MOD Referral Scheme, set up to assist separating spouses who are looking for social housing (MOD Referral Scheme).

If you have a local connection to an area, it could make sourcing a property as a separating/divorced military spouse more likely.  However, guidance from the Department for Levelling Up, Housing and Communities (DLUHC) states that ‘The Secretary of State strongly encourages local authorities to exempt from any local connection requirements divorced or separated spouses or civil partners of Service Personnel who need to move out of accommodation provided by the Ministry of Defence.’

If you experience issues due to a lack of local connection, ensure that your local authority is aware of the new guidance, Improving access to social housing for members of the Armed Forces.

For homeowners or those renting privately, who gets the family home depends on your circumstances. There are a number of options available to you. Please note, if you have a joint tenancy agreement or are joint mortgage holders, you are both still liable for the costs and moving out doesn’t end that responsibility.

4. Pensions on divorce or dissolution of a partnership

The Armed Forces Pension can be the biggest asset in the divorce, so it is important this is settled before the divorce is finalised; it will be very difficult to access any of your spouse’s pension after the Final Order (previously known as Decree Absolute). For information see GOV.UK: Get a divorce: Step by Step. It is important to highlight that, due to the Armed Forces lifestyle (in particular mobility requirements and long periods of separated service), spouses and partners encounter barriers to employment and therefore cannot fully build their own personal pension; this needs to be taken into account when looking at future finances.

Veterans UK is a good source of information regarding military pensions and how they are administered.  It is important to understand how much the Armed Forces Pension is worth in order to split the pension fairly. GOV.UK provides pension sharing rules through guidance documents of the Armed Forces Pension Schemes (AFPS) and Reserve Forces Pension Schemes (RFPS).

The Forces Pension Society can offer further advice in this area – they have specialist knowledge and it is advisable to make sure all decisions during this stressful time are fully considered.

Some of the more common ways to deal with the pension are:

  • pension sharing – you are awarded a percentage share of your ex-partner’s pension
  • pension attachment – you receive an agreed amount of your ex-partner’s net pension income or a lump sum when the pension starts being paid to them
  • pension offsetting – the value of the pension is offset against your other assets, for example, you may keep a share of shared property in exchange for your ex-partner keeping their pension

For more information on Pension on divorce or dissolution of a civil partnership, access the Veterans UK publication Pension benefits on divorce and dissolution of civil partnerships (MMP 131)

5. Supporting children

5.1 Service Pupil Premium (SPP)

SPP is money that is paid directly to state schools, free schools and academies across England for supporting Service children. Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales have their own administrations and therefore have different arrangements so please check with your school. The current amount paid to each school is £320 per child from Reception to Year 11. Find out more about the Service Pupil Premium.

The Premium was introduced by the Department for Education (DfE) as part of the commitment to delivering the Armed Forces Covenant. The premium enables schools to provide extra, mainly pastoral, support for children with parents in the Armed Forces.

Speak to your child/children’s school to understand how they can support your child/children through this unsettling period. There may be a Learning Support Assistant dedicated to the emotional wellbeing and academic achievement of Service children.

5.2 Continuity of Education Allowance (CEA)

If you decide to separate and the non-serving spouse has primary care responsibility for the child/children, the Service Person will no longer be eligible to claim CEA. Once the Service Person has changed their Personal Status Category (PStatCat), they will only be able to claim CEA for one further academic term following the one in which the change of status takes place.

If the child(ren) have started the two academic years leading to public exams (e.g., GCSEs, A-Levels and equivalent), they will be entitled to receive CEA until the end of that stage of education.

If the Service Person becomes the primary carer for the child/children (PStatCat 2), they will need to apply for a new eligibility certificate and evidence needs to be provided that they are the child’s primary carer to retain CEA.

5.3 Childcare

To find out if help is available to you with finding childcare, childcare costs and childcare for school aged children please visit Childcare - GOV.UK

If you are currently entitled to support through the Wraparound Child Care (WAC) scheme (known as ‘Out of School care’ in Wales and ‘School Aged Childcare’ in Scotland), please note that to qualify, the child will have to be living with the Service parent for the majority of the time except where separated due to Service commitments (deployment, residential courses) or when Serving on unaccompanied assignment overseas involuntarily. Wraparound Childcare FAQs

5.4 Child Maintenance Payments

There are different options available for arranging child maintenance. If you both agree, you could make an agreement between yourselves.

Guidance on arranging a child maintenance agreement yourself and mediation if you cannot agree.

The child maintenance calculator can be used to give you a starting point in discussions or show you the amount the government would calculate for you. Calculate child maintenence.

If you are unable to come to an agreement yourself, you can contact the Child Maintenance Service. There is an application fee of £20 but this does not apply if you are a victim of domestic violence or abuse, under 19 years old or in Northern Ireland. You would need to contact Child Maintenance Options first and get a reference number.  For more information please see Making child maintenance arrangements

5.5 Child Access and Visitation arrangements

Arrangements can be made between you and your partner without the need for court hearings or involving professionals if you can agree on where your children will live, how much time is spent with each parent and how your children will be financially supported.

More guidance on this subject can be found on GOV.UK: Making child arrangements if you divorce or separate.

However, the guidance is different if you live in Scotland or Northern Ireland.

You can use a solicitor if you want your arrangement to be legally binding, make a parenting plan or use a mediator.

The Scottish Government have launched a useful booklet full of information and strategies for families where the parents are divorced, separated, living apart or something similar. The booklet can also be useful if there are children living with different parents and visiting, such as, in the case of children from a previous relationship or if you have stepchildren. Access the Scottish Government’s parenting plan publication. In addition to Citizens Advice or Advice Now, you can get help from the Cafcass Co-Parent Hub.

5.6 Contact Houses

Contact Houses are houses or flats on a Unit and are available to Service Personnel and their families who need temporary accommodation for short periods of time. Our personnel who are separated/divorced or single parents can book them for weekend time with their children and for other welfare reasons.  Your Welfare point of contact will be able to advise you about what is available locally to you.

6. Employment support

There are some circumstances when a divorcing spouse or partner may need to change careers or start a new one. This could be because of a breakdown in a relationship requiring a move to a new location or because becoming a single parent now requires more flexibility in order to support your family. Inevitably the financial situation will have changed too which often means a need to increase your income.

In the first instance you may need to talk to your employer about flexible or home working options to enable you to begin divorce proceedings. The ACAS Website has more information and guidance about how to do this.

When the time is right to start looking for your new career, you can visit Finding a job - GOV.UK.

You may be entitled to New Style Job Seekers Allowance while you are looking for work. Find out how it works at on GOV.UK: Universal Credit.

You may be able to claim Universal Credit if you’re on a low income or need help with your living costs. You could be:

  • out of work
  • working (including self-employed or part time)
  • unable to work, for example because of a health condition

Find out more about Universal Credit Eligibility

You may also find Forces Families Jobs useful, where you can upload your CV. You will be able to search and apply online as well as set up job alerts for specific jobs, locations, and salaries. You might also want to consider opportunities for training on the site.

Other sources of information:

Recruit for Spouses - Gateway into the job market.

Forces Employment Charity - Job opportunities and training.

Numerous employment agencies exist who can provide support and guidance with developing your CV and seeking the right role for you. Indeed and Work Your Way are just two of the many platforms.

If running your own business is the direction you want to go in and you aren’t sure how or where to start, Supporting the Unsung Hero may be able to help. It’s a free business start-up programme for you to gain the skills, confidence and support to be your own boss.

7. Visa (non-UK nationals)

Unless you have obtained settlement (Indefinite Leave to Remain/Enter) your immigration status will be dependent on your spouse’s/partner’s status as a member of the Armed Forces. Most likely you will be on an immigration route under Appendix Armed Forces. When your spouse or partner informs their HR or Unit Personnel Office of a change in their marital status on estrangement, they will inform the UK Home Office of the change in circumstances, so you will need to take appropriate action if either you wish to remain in UK or return to your country of origin.

If you are in the UK on a Spouse Visa and you are thinking about separating or getting divorced, it is very important to take Immigration and Family Law advice before you take any steps. If you are considering remaining in the UK, HIVEs and RNFPS can provide advice or direct you to sources of information. The Families Federations have access to qualified immigration advice from the Army Families Federation (AFF). AFF have produced some helpful guidance which you may wish to note before speaking with an adviser.

Whether you will be allowed to remain in the UK, and if so, which visa you should apply for will depend on a number of factors, including whether you have children, and if so where they were born, and how long you have lived in the UK. There are additional provisions for spouses/partners who have been victims of domestic abuse. Your immigration adviser can guide you through all this.

Your immigration status does not entitle you to state benefits or local authority housing. Again, your immigration adviser will discuss what options are open to you. To find out how to stay in the UK even if your visa is based on your relationship with your ex-partner, the Citizens Advice website may offer some guidance.

Other sources of support and advice are available, you can:

This advice applies to England.

Advice for Northern Ireland

Advice for Scotland

Advice for Wales

You may also be eligible to apply to stay in the UK and apply for a new visa in your own right. Some of those situations are:

7.1 Settle in the UK by yourself

You can check if you’re eligible to settle in the UK (also known as getting ‘indefinite leave to remain’) on GOV.UK. If you’re eligible, you’ll be able to stay in the UK independently from your partner.

7.2 If you have children in the UK

One option for staying in the UK is called the ‘parent route’ - you might be eligible if you have children who live in the UK. This is a common way for parents to be able to live in the UK after they’re separated or divorced.

There are various conditions that you’ll have to meet to be able to stay in the UK as a parent. If you want to know more about the detail, read the eligibility of parent routes and how to apply at GOV.UK. A specialist legal adviser can help with your application.

7.3 Switch to a work visa if you’re employed

It might be possible to get a work visa through your employer – this is called a ‘Tier 2 (General)’ visa. Your job will have to be on the ‘shortage occupation list’, which you can check on GOV.UK.

This can be a complex process but it’s a possible route to staying in the UK, especially if you work for a large organisation. The best thing to do is talk to your employer to see if they will sponsor you. Read more about Tier 2 (General) visas at GOV.UK.

You’ll have to remain in your job to keep this visa. It will also be 5 years before you can settle by yourself. So, it’s best to check if you’re eligible to settle before you try to get a visa through your employer.

7.4 Other ways of staying

There are other ways of getting a visa if you’ve been living in the UK for a long time. These routes are called ‘private life in the UK’, for example if:

  • you’ve lived continuously in the UK for at least 20 years
  • you’re under 18 and have lived continuously in the UK for at least 7 years
  • you’re between 18 and 24, and have spent at least half your life living continuously in the UK
  • you’re over 18 and have no ties with the country that you’d have to return to - this means you need to have no social, cultural, or family ties with that country

It’s important to talk to a specialist immigration adviser about staying in the UK and get advice.

There are a number of situations that may require you to seek legal assistance. Separating or divorcing from a spouse or partner is one of those situations. At some locations your HIVE can facilitate clinics with Citizens Advice/Local Solicitors – please speak to your local HIVE or Royal Navy Family and People Support (RN FPS) Team for more information.

You may wish to speak to a specialist family solicitor. Many solicitors offer an initial meeting or chat free of charge (please check) which can last anywhere from 15 to 60 minutes and will not commit you to anything and can often be done by telephone or video call.

SSAFA and the Royal British Legion are on hand to offer you guidance and support. Whether it’s worries about debts and paying bills or advice on benefits, pensions or planning for your future, they’re here to help. If you’re worried about your finances, you can find out how the Royal British Legion can help by visiting their website or call them on 0808 802 8080 (8am-8pm 7 days a week).

Universal Credit is a payment to help with your living costs. It’s paid monthly – or twice monthly for some people in Scotland. You may be able to get it if you’re on a low income, out of work or cannot work. Visit the website for details of eligibility and how to claim in England or Northern Ireland.

National Debtline can help if you have been left with debt after a separation and need advice on how to deal with it. They have a range of advice and tools to help you.

Legal Aid can help meet the cost of legal advice, family mediation, or representation at court or tribunals. For more information or to see if you are eligible, please visit the Legal Aid website. Please note that Legal Aid rules are different in Scotland and Northern Ireland.

If you or your children are victims of domestic abuse or violence and you cannot afford to pay legal costs, then you may be able to get free and confidential civil legal advice as a part of legal aid if you are in England or Wales.

Citizens Advice can give you the confidence and knowledge needed to find a way forward. They can assist with a wide range of problems or enquiries and their website has a section on free or affordable legal help. For more information, please visit the Citizens Advice website.

*Please ensure that you choose the section of the UK that you are living in (England, Scotland, Northern Ireland, or Wales) as the guidance may change.

Resolution is an organisation that can also assist you in navigating your way to the right legal advice for your situation. They have helpful sections and lots of guides on separating for married couples, cohabitees, and issues around children on their website.

The Law Society or The Law Society of Scotland can help you to find a solicitor local to you. In addition, the website has a section on common legal issues.

9. Maintaining health and wellbeing

Coping with a breakup can be extremely challenging on an emotional level. Each member of the couple/family may go through a range of emotions and could need different support.  There are a variety of organisations that can provide that support including your GP who you might want to speak to in the first instance.

9.1 Mental Health and Wellbeing

There are numerous organisations that can provide advice and support with mental ill-health issues for you and your family. Some are listed below:

  • Talking therapies, or psychological therapies, are effective and confidential treatments delivered by fully trained and accredited NHS practitioners. They can help with common mental health problems like stress, anxiety and depression. You can access talking therapies for free on the NHS. They are available in person, by video, over the phone or as an online course.

You can refer yourself directly to an NHS talking therapies service without a referral from a GP, or a GP can refer you https://www.nhs.uk › talking-therapies-and-counselling

  • Home-Start helps Armed Forces families with young children, particularly at times of heightened anxiety.
  • Family Lives is a charity with over three decades of experience helping parents to deal with the changes that are a constant part of family life. Their website covers all aspects of this and has a page dedicated to separation and divorce, and they offer core family support.
  • Young Minds is a charity fighting for children and young people’s mental health. They can help if you have children and they are struggling with your separation or divorce and need support. They also have help and advice for you as a parent.
  • SSAFA can provide help for the Armed Forces community in many ways.
  • Relate also offer counselling to RNRM & RAF SP and their families.

9.2 Medical and Dental Services

Accessing medical and dental care services can be difficult for service families that move around and you will need to register with a civilian GP and access NHS services in the same way as other members of the public.

Unless you are exempt from dental service charges, you will be required to pay one of three standard rates, depending on your course of treatment.

The NHS website makes it easy to find GP services and dental services. If you have trouble finding a GP or Dentist, you can contact NHS England Customer Care Centre on 0300 311 22 33

9.3 Domestic Abuse

If you feel at immediate risk or fear for your safety, you should get help by contacting the Police.

If you have been a victim of domestic violence and/or abuse, you can seek advice from your Welfare Office, Chaplain or Padre for advice as soon as possible about your rights and to get appropriate support.

If your partner makes you feel anxious or threatened, you can call Refuge or Women’s Aid on 0808 2000 247 or the Men’s Advice Line on 0808 801 0327 between 9am to 5pm, Monday to Friday.

Guidance and support on Domestic Abuse aimed specifically at the Armed Forces Community

The National Health Service (NHS) Sexual Assault Referral Centres (SARCS) provide a safe space and dedicated care for anyone who has been raped, sexually assaulted or abused: NHS SARCS

Aurora New Dawn are an Independent Domestic Violence Advocate familiar with issues in the Armed Forces community. They can give safety, support, advocacy and empowerment to survivors of domestic abuse, sexual violence and stalking. This organisation can be accessed from anywhere in the UK or overseas by calling +4423 9247 9254 or emailing: info@aurorand.org.uk.

If you are fleeing domestic abuse, you must be given some priority or ‘reasonable preference’ to local authority/social housing allocation. You can ask any council for homelessness help if you’re at risk in your home or can’t stay there because of domestic abuse. The council must look at what they can do to either keep you safe in your home or find you somewhere safe to live.

SSAFA’s Stepping Stone Home also provides comfortable, secure, and female-only sheltered accommodation for as long as it is needed whilst providing advice and guidance: SSAFA Stepping Stone

The Services Cotswold Centre is a tri-service facility managed by Headquarters Army Welfare Service (AWS) and funded by Headquarters Regional Command (HQ RC) on behalf of the MOD. It provides short-term transit accommodation for Service Personnel but also entitled family members.

The SCC accommodation comprises of 41 self-contained, chalet-style homes and 19 single-storey semi-detached units of various sizes. The SCC is located in Neston near Corsham, Wiltshire in the United Kingdom. Contact them directly on Telephone: 01225 810 358 or email rc-aws-scc-bookings@mod.gov.uk.

10. Additional sources of information and support organisations

This document has been drawn from many sources with support from SSAFA, HIVE, RN FPS and the Families Federations organisations.  A review of this guide will be undertaken every six months. In addition to those mentioned in this document, please find list of charities and organisations that you may wish to consider (this list is not exhaustive):

10.1 Royal Navy (RN)

Royal Navy Family & People Support (RN FPS) delivers a range of services to support both Service Personnel and their families in order to support operational capability.

RN services offer proactive, reactive and crisis intervention. Professionally-trained case workers offer guidance and support (either practical or emotional) and will advocate on your behalf directly or in conjunction with other agencies. This is supported by community staff who provide activities and events in support of separation and isolation.

Contact RN FPS:

The RN Forum:

Navy Families Federation is an independent, confidential service that understands the challenges of Navy life but isn’t a formal part of the Naval Service and can provide immigration advice. Email: contactus@nff.org.uk

Formerly known as the Royal Navy and Royal Marines Children’s Fund, the Naval Children’s Charity (NCC) provides grants and support to children whose parents serve or have served in the Naval Service (up to and including the age of 25).  Support ranges from grants in their Emergency Essentials Grant Scheme to larger grants for more complex needs around disability and illness.  Every situation is considered individually.

The Royal Navy and Royal Marines Charity (RNRMC) is the principal charity of the Royal Navy. The charity exists to support sailors, marines and their families, for life. Since 2007, they have funded projects and facilities that boost morale for those who serve today. They also distribute millions of pounds annually to military charities which care for the children, families and veterans of the Royal Navy and Royal Marines. Also check out their Strengthening Families – By Your Side programme to provide you with the right support, at the right time.

The Royal Naval Benevolent Trust (RNBT) gives help, in cases of need, to serving and former Royal Naval ratings and Royal Marines other ranks, which includes Reservists. They also help their partners, children and some others connected with them. They make grants to assist in a very wide variety of circumstances, such as help towards living expenses, house repairs, disability aids, job training, all sorts of financial difficulties, care home top-up fees, domiciliary care and much more.

10.2 Army

The Army Welfare Service (AWS) is the Army’s professional welfare provider; it delivers a comprehensive and confidential welfare service responsive to the needs of individuals, families, and the Chain of Command in order to maximise the operational effectiveness of Service Personnel. AWS delivers its services via Personal Support and Community Support.

Contact AWS single point of contact:

Find your Army HIVE Centre: HIVE Information Centres - The British Army

Contact Army Families Federation

For Non-UK and Commonwealth Visa enquiries, see the Army Families Federation website. For detailed Foreign and Commonwealth information and advice from qualified immigration advisors or contact fcsupport@aff.org.uk.

Contact the Army Benevolent Fund

The Army Central Fund is the Army’s own grant-making charity which allocates its funds to improve the well-being of serving soldiers and their immediate families.

10.3 Royal Air Force (RAF)

The Royal Air Force Association believe that no member of the RAF community should ever be left without the help that they need.

Find your local HIVE: HIVE Finder - Royal Air Force

Contact RAF Families Federation

RAF Personal Support and Social Work Service (PS&SWS). This ‘one-stop shop’ is for Regular, Reserve Personnel and their families.

Telephone: 03000 111 723 (available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year).

Email: psswsRAF@ssafa.org.uk (monitored during office hours, Monday to Friday 0830 – 1700)

The RAF Benevolent Fund provides a range of support aimed at Serving and former RAF personnel and their families. This includes welfare breaks, grants to help with financial difficulty, getting about inside and outside the home. They also help with specialist advice on benefits such as Job Seeker’s Allowance claims for partners when they return from an overseas posting. For the younger members of the RAF Family, there is also the Airplay programme which now includes a digital version for those not living on RAF Stations.

The RAF Central Fund is an independent charity that works to safeguard the health and wellbeing of serving RAF personnel through grant funding to enable them to take part in sports and physical activities at all levels. This support is provided at an individual level through its Sports Grants, at a Station level, and by providing vital funding to the RAF Sport Associations.

The Royal Air Force Charitable Trust’s mission is to promote the Royal Air Force, to support its people now and into the future and to encourage air-mindedness and the aviation-related education of youth.

10.4 General

SSAFA is the Armed Forces charity, formerly known as Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Families Association. SSAFA provides lifelong support to anyone who is currently serving or has ever served in the UK Armed Forces (Regulars and Reserves) and their families.

They have a network of trained volunteers on military bases in the UK and around the world who can give local support. They provide a range of personalised services, including welfare advice, housing and healthcare, and signposting to organisations that offer more specialised support.

Relate have a network of centres in England and Wales England and Wales offering counselling and support, including:

Relate also offer 30-minute chats with a counsellor over the phone, or via chat or email, for when you have a specific pressing issue that you need to talk through.

Forcesline SSAFA is a free and confidential telephone helpline and email service that provides support for the Armed Forces community. As an independent charity, SSAFA is not part of the military Chain of Command. The team are there to listen and not to judge.

COBSEO, (The Confederation of Service Charities) represents the whole Serving and Veterans Community.  Membership is open to Charities who promote and further the welfare and general interests of the Armed Forces Community. For any individual looking for charitable support – it is recommended that Cobseo service charities are consulted in the first instance.

Little Troopers is a charity supporting children with a parent serving in the Armed Forces (Regular/Reserves). They have fundamental resources available to help ease and aid any separation period.

Reading Force provides support to Forces and Ex Forces Families with free reading

Service Children’s Progression Alliance provides the Thriving Life Toolkit (via Schools) to support Service children – also available in Welsh

Armed Forces Education Trust provides Educational grants for Service Children

Kooth is a free online mental wellbeing community for children

Give Us Time was founded by former Defence Minister Liam Fox in 2012. Their mission is to give military families precious time together.

Homestart UK support families in the Armed Forces that not only face the usual pressures that families experience but also the unique challenges including regular relocation, living away from family and dealing with the tensions of loved ones working in dangerous or stressful conditions

Annington Trust offer support to young people living in Service communities to go Outward Bound.

Supporting Service Children in Education (SSCE) Cymru is a Welsh Local Government Association (WLGA) programme, initially funded by the MOD.

Forces Children Scotland supports children and young people from Armed Forces and Veteran families with mental health and wellbeing, education and learning, financial help and much more. Providing life-changing experiences which help develop new skills, build confidence, and make friends with other young people with similar experiences.

Veterans Gateway - despite its name, this website offers a search engine of support to families through different geographical areas so that you can find support in an area near to where you live.

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