If you agree on child arrangements

You do not have to do any official paperwork if you agree about child arrangements. You can write down what you’ve agreed in a Parenting Plan if you want a record. If you want to make your agreement legally binding, a legal advisor can help with the paperwork. Making your agreement legally binding You can get a legal advisor to draft a ‘consent order’ if you want a legally binding agreement. A consent order is a legal document that confirms your agreement. It can include details about how you’ll look after your children, such as: where they live when they spend time with each parent when and what other types of contact take place (phone calls, for example) You and your ex-partner both have to sign the draft consent order. You’ll also need to get the consent order approved. Get your consent order approved You or your ex-partner need to apply for a court order to get your consent order approved. Your legal advisor can help you with your application. You will not need to show that you’ve tried mediation. Keep a copy of both the form and the draft consent order. After the court gets your paperwork There’s usually no court hearing. A judge will approve your consent order to make it legally binding if they think you’ve made decisions in your children’s interest. If the judge does not think your consent order is in your children’s interest they can: change your consent order make a different court order to decide what’s best for your children

Make an agreement through mediation

You can use a mediator to help you and your ex-partner agree on child arrangements. This can often mean you do not have to go to court. A mediator is a professional who will work with you to help you make decisions based on your child’s best interests. They listen to both sides and take a neutral approach. If it’s suitable, a mediator can talk to your child about what they want. This is called ‘child-inclusive mediation’. You can attend sessions in person or remotely (for example by video or phone). You do not have to be in the same room or call as your ex-partner. Mediation is not relationship counselling. You need to use an accredited mediator. Find a local mediator on the Family Mediation Council website . What mediation can help with Mediation can help you and your ex-partner agree on the details of how you’ll look after your child, such as: where they live when they spend time with each parent when and what other types of contact take place (for example, phone calls) how to cover your child’s living costs (for example, housing and day to day care) Before you start mediation You may need to go to an initial meeting with the mediator. This is sometimes called a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting ( MIAM ). At this meeting, the mediator will give you advice about the mediation process, discuss your situation and help you to decide if mediation is right for you. They may also explain other ways you can agree on child arrangements without going to court. If you decide to go to court, you’ll usually need to show you’ve attended a MIAM before you apply. If you attend a MIAM but your ex-partner does not, you can still apply to go to court. You will not have to go to a MIAM in some circumstances, for example if there’s been domestic abuse. You need to use an accredited mediator. Find a local mediator on the Family Mediation Council website . After you go to a MIAM The mediator will sign a form that shows you attended. You’ll need to show this if you apply to go to court. Only a mediator accredited by the Family Mediation Council can sign the form. How much a MIAM costs The cost of a MIAM depends on the mediator you choose. The usual cost is around £120. You and your ex-partner will need to attend your own MIAM separately. You do not have to pay for a MIAM if either you or your ex-partner qualifies for legal aid . How much mediation costs Mediation is usually cheaper and quicker than going to court. The cost of a MIAM is separate from the cost of mediation. You and your ex-partner will need to decide how the cost of mediation is shared. Get up to £500 towards the cost of mediation You can usually get a voucher worth up to £500 to pay for family mediation, regardless of what you earn. The voucher usually pays for a minimum of 2 mediation sessions, depending on where you live and the type of mediation. For example, mediation where each parent is in a different room could cost more. The voucher cannot be used towards the cost of a MIAM . It can only be used towards the cost of mediation sessions. You and your ex-partner can only use one voucher to jointly cover your mediation costs for up to £500 – you cannot apply for multiple vouchers. Find out how the Family Mediation Voucher Scheme works . How to get a mediation voucher Ask an accredited mediator to apply for the voucher. You do not need to pay upfront for any sessions the voucher covers. Get legal aid You may also be able to get legal aid to cover the cost of mediation if you’re on a low income. If both you and your ex-partner are eligible for legal aid Legal aid will cover the costs of: a MIAM any mediation sessions needed after the MIAM applying for a consent order (a document that makes your agreement legally binding) If only one parent is eligible for legal aid Legal aid will cover the costs of: a MIAM the first mediation session for both parents after the MIAM It will also cover any further costs of the parent who’s eligible for legal aid. It will not cover the other parent’s costs. Check if you can get legal aid . What happens next If you reach an agreement, you’ll get a document at the end of mediation showing what you and the other person have agreed. You do not need to do anything else. If you want to make your agreement legally binding, you should hire a solicitor . They’ll draft a consent order. You can then apply to court to ask a judge or magistrate to review and confirm the order. If the mediator thinks that mediation is not right for you, they might advise you to go to court instead. Help and support Find out about other ways to agree without going to court . You can also: find out more about what family mediation involves on the Family Mediation Council website contact Citizens Advice report domestic abuse or contact organisations who can offer you help and support

Other ways to agree without going to court

There are other ways to help you agree on child arrangements outside of court. These are sometimes known as ‘non-court dispute resolution’ ( NCDR ). NCDR is usually quicker than going to court. The type you choose will depend on your circumstances. For example your financial situation, where you live and whether you’re in contact with your ex-partner. You could try: solicitor negotiation collaborative law arbitration neutral evaluation mediation If you decide to go to court, you’ll usually need to show you’ve tried mediation before you apply. You can usually get a voucher to pay for family mediation, regardless of what you earn. A legal adviser can help you decide what type of resolution is suitable for you. They can also tell you how much it costs. If you’re not in contact with your ex-partner Solicitor negotiation If you’re unable to contact your ex-partner or they do not reply to you, you can find a legal adviser to help you negotiate. This is known as ‘solicitor negotiation’ or ‘lawyer negotiation’. You do not have to speak to your ex-partner if you choose a solicitor to negotiate for you. If you’re in contact with your ex-partner You can still negotiate through a solicitor if you’re in contact with your ex-partner but there are other options available to you. Collaborative law You and your ex-partner can each hire your own legal advisers to help you negotiate. You then all meet to try and agree on child arrangements. This is known as ‘collaborative law’. Find a legal adviser . Arbitration Arbitration is when a legal professional (such as a judge, solicitor or barrister) listens to both of your views. Find an arbitrator on the Institute of Family Law Arbitrators website . Neutral evaluation Neutral evaluation can help you and your ex-partner understand how likely it is that you’ll get the child arrangements you want in court. A legal professional (such as a family lawyer or judge) will listen to both of your views. They then give their unbiased opinion on what a court might decide. Both parents need to attend the neutral evaluation meeting. It could help you come to an agreement without going to court which could save you time and money. Neutral evaluation is different to mediation because a mediator cannot tell you what the outcome of your court order might be. Find a legal adviser to arrange neutral evaluation. What happens next If you reach an agreement, you do not need to do anything else. You and your ex-partner can agree to follow what’s been decided. Ask your solicitor or find a legal adviser if you want to make your agreement legally binding. They’ll draft a consent order. You can then apply to court to ask a judge or magistrate to review and confirm the order. Get help or advice You can ask a legal adviser about other types of resolution. You can also: contact Citizens Advice report domestic abuse or contact organisations who can offer you help and support

If you cannot agree: court orders you can apply for

If you’ve got help and still cannot agree then you’ll need to apply for a court order before you go to court. You must show you’ve attended a meeting about mediation first - except in certain cases (there’s been domestic abuse, for example). You may have to attend a court appointment and go to a number of court hearings. Before the court makes a decision, it might ask you try mediation again or go on a course to help you resolve issues. Types of court order The type of court order you need depends on what you’ve been unable to agree on. You can apply for more than one court order. Arrangements for your child A ‘child arrangements order’ decides: where your child lives when your child spends time with each parent when and what other types of contact take place (phone calls, for example) ‘Child arrangements orders’ replace ‘residence orders’ and ‘contact orders’. Parents with these orders do not need to re-apply. Find a legal advisor if you need legal advice. Your child’s upbringing A ‘specific issue order’ is used to look at a specific question about how the child is being brought up, for example: what school they go to if they should have a religious education You can also apply for a ‘prohibited steps order’ to stop the other parent from making a decision about the child’s upbringing. Who can apply The child’s mother, father or anyone with parental responsibility can apply for a court order. Other people can apply for these court orders but they’ll need to get permission from the courts first. Find out how to make child arrangements if you’re the child’s grandparent .

After you apply for a court order

The court will arrange a ‘directions hearing’ with both parents if you apply for a court order. There will usually be a family court adviser from the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service ( Cafcass ) at the hearing. Cafcass will send you information before the hearing - they’ll usually ring you too. At the hearing, a judge or magistrate will try to work out: what you can agree what you cannot agree if your child is at risk in any way They’ll encourage you to reach an agreement if it’s in the child’s best interests. If you can, and there are no concerns about the child’s welfare, the judge or magistrate can end the process. The court will make a consent order which sets out what you’ve agreed, if necessary. If you cannot agree at the first court hearing The judge or magistrate will set a timetable for what happens next. They may ask you to try again to reach an agreement, for example by going to a meeting with a mediator. You may have to go on a course if your case is about child arrangements. The course is called a ‘ Separated Parents Information Programme ’, and could help you find a way to make child arrangements work. You usually have to go to one or 2 meetings, depending on the type of programme. Your ex-partner will not be at the same meetings as you. If you reach an agreement at any stage, the judge or magistrate can stop the process. Cafcass reports The court can ask Cafcass to provide a report on your case to help decide what’s best for the child. The Cafcass officer may ask your child about their feelings. You’ll get a copy of the report when it’s written. What judges and magistrates consider They’ll always put the welfare of children first. They will think about the: child’s wishes and feelings child’s physical, emotional and educational needs effect any changes may have on the child child’s age, gender, characteristics and background possible risk of harm to the child ability of parents to meet the child’s needs orders the court has the power to make A judge or magistrate will only make an order if they think it’s in the child’s best interests. If you want to change your application Use form C2 to change an application that the court is still considering. The fee depends on what you’re asking the court to do. You pay the court: £190 if you still want the court to decide your case through a court hearing £60 if you and your ex-partner have agreed and you want the court to approve your consent order without a court hearing

Change or enforce an order

You can change an existing court order or consent order. You can also ask a court to enforce an order if your ex-partner is not following it. If you ask the court to change or enforce an order, you’ll probably have to go to a court hearing. You can usually avoid this if you get support outside of court, such as using a mediator or getting other help instead. Change an order You can decide to do something different from the court order, if you both agree. But you will not be able to enforce this later on unless you make it legally binding. Make a change legally binding If you both agree, you can draft a consent order to cover the new agreement and ask the court to approve it. If you cannot agree, you can ask a court to decide how to change (‘vary’) the order. Enforce an order If your ex-partner is not following the order, you can ask the court to enforce it. Follow these steps. Fill in form C79 to apply - read guidance CB5 if you need help. Use form C78 to attach a ‘warning notice’ if your order was made before 8 December 2008. Orders made after this date will already include one. Send it to the court nearest to you that deals with cases involving children . It costs £255. The court will look at the facts again to see if anything has changed. If the court enforces the order Depending on your situation and what you’ve asked the court to decide they might make: an ‘enforcement order’ - this means your ex-partner has to do between 40 and 200 hours of unpaid work an ‘order for compensation for financial loss’ - this means your ex-partner has to pay back any money you’ve lost because they did not follow the order (for example if you missed a holiday) You can go back to the court if your ex-partner still does not do as the court ordered. If the court does not enforce the order The court might not enforce the existing order if they think that your ex-partner is not following it because: they have a good reason it’s better for your children to do something different You can go back to the court if you do not agree with their decision or your situation changes. End an order Use form C100 to apply to end (‘discharge’) a court order that’s not working, or is not relevant to you and your children any more. If your order ends at a fixed time (‘time-limited’), you can make your own agreement afterwards. You can get support to reach agreement, such as using a mediator or getting other help .

Making child arrangements if you divorce or separate

Making child arrangements

You can choose how to make arrangements for looking after your children if you separate from your partner.

What you can do is different in Scotland and Northern Ireland.

You and your ex-partner may be able to avoid going to court if you agree on:

where the children will live
how much time they’ll spend with each parent
how you’ll financially support your children

This is called making child arrangements (sometimes known as ‘child custody’ or ‘child contact’).

You can agree on child maintenance at the same time or separately.

If you agree

If you and your ex-partner agree on child arrangements, you can make a Parenting Plan. This is a record of what you’ve agreed.

Get help agreeing without going to court

You can find out about:

You can also get help and information from:

If you cannot agree on everything

You can apply for a court order if you cannot agree after using a mediator or getting help.

If you decide to go to court, you’ll usually need to show you’ve tried mediation before you apply. You can get a voucher worth up to £500 to pay for family mediation, regardless of what you earn.

It costs £263 to apply for a court order. You may be able to get help paying court fees if you’re on benefits or a low income.

You may be able to get legal aid to help pay for a legal adviser in court. For example, if you have evidence that you’re a victim of domestic abuse.

View a printable version of the whole guide

Step 1 Get support and advice
You can get support or counselling to help you through the divorce process.
1. Get support and advice from Relate
2. Find a counsellor on Counselling Directory
Step 2 Check if you can get divorced
1. Check if you can get a divorce
2. Get legal advice if you want help with the divorce process
Step 3 Make arrangements for children, money and property
Step 4 Apply for a divorce
Step 5 Apply for a ‘conditional order’ or ‘decree nisi’
1. Apply for a ‘conditional order’ or 'decree nisi'
Step 6 Finalise your divorce
1. Apply for a ‘final order’ or 'decree absolute'
Step 7 Report that your circumstances have changed
You also have to tell other government organisations that you're getting divorced if:
- you get benefits
- your visa is based on your marriage

Making child arrangements if you divorce or separate

Making child arrangements

If you agree

Get help agreeing without going to court

If you cannot agree on everything

Step 1 Get support and advice

Step 2 Check if you can get divorced

Step 3 Make arrangements for children, money and property

Step 4 Apply for a divorce

Step 5 Apply for a ‘conditional order’ or ‘decree nisi’

Step 6 Finalise your divorce

Step 7 Report that your circumstances have changed

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Making child arrangements if you divorce or separate

Making child arrangements

If you agree

Get help agreeing without going to court

If you cannot agree on everything

Part of Get a divorce: step by step

Step 1: Get support and advice

Step 2: Check if you can get divorced

Step 3: Make arrangements for children, money and property

Step 4: Apply for a divorce

Step 5: Apply for a ‘conditional order’ or ‘decree nisi’

Step 6: Finalise your divorce

Step 7: Report that your circumstances have changed

Is this page useful?

Help us improve GOV.UK

Help us improve GOV.UK

Step 1 Get support and advice

Step 2 Check if you can get divorced

Step 3 Make arrangements for children, money and property

Step 4 Apply for a divorce

Step 5 Apply for a ‘conditional order’ or ‘decree nisi’

Step 6 Finalise your divorce

Step 7 Report that your circumstances have changed