Making child arrangements

You can choose how to make arrangements for looking after your children if you separate from your partner.

What you can do is different in Scotland and Northern Ireland.

You and your ex-partner may be able to avoid going to court if you agree on:

  • where the children will live
  • how much time they’ll spend with each parent
  • how you’ll financially support your children

This is called making child arrangements (sometimes known as ‘child custody’ or ‘child contact’).

You can agree on child maintenance at the same time or separately.

If you agree

If you and your ex-partner agree on child arrangements, you can make a Parenting Plan. This is a record of what you’ve agreed.

Get help agreeing without going to court

You can find out about:

You can also get help and information from:

If you cannot agree on everything

You can apply for a court order if you cannot agree after using a mediator or getting help.

If you decide to go to court, you’ll usually need to show you’ve tried mediation before you apply. You can get a voucher worth up to £500 to pay for family mediation, regardless of what you earn.

It costs £263 to apply for a court order. You may be able to get help paying court fees if you’re on benefits or a low income.

You may be able to get legal aid to help pay for a legal adviser in court. For example, if you have evidence that you’re a victim of domestic abuse.

  1. Step 1 Get support and advice

    You can get support or counselling to help you through the divorce process.

    1. Get support and advice from Relate
    2. Find a counsellor on Counselling Directory
  2. Step 2 Check if you can get divorced

  3. Step 3 Make arrangements for children, money and property

  4. Step 4 Apply for a divorce

  5. Step 5 Apply for a ‘conditional order’ or ‘decree nisi’

  6. Step 6 Finalise your divorce

  7. Step 7 Report that your circumstances have changed

    You also have to tell other government organisations that you're getting divorced if: